by The Dissenter


Wait, this isn’t what she’s actually saying?

It actually makes more sense than most of what comes out of her mouth.


The parodying is sometimes just too easy.

From WCCO-AM host John Williams, talking to “Not Michele Bachmann”:

Cooper: Bachmann’s “Dangerous Falsehoods”

Sometimes you don’t even need to say anything. Everything plays out by itself.

From Anderson Cooper 360:

Bachmann: HPV vaccine might cause mental retardation

Last night’s debate gave Bachmann a grand opening to wound GOP frontrunner Rick Perry. She slammed Perry for his executive order requiring teenage girls to be vaccinated against Human papillomavirus, which can cause cervical cancer in women.

(One point that is often missed in this debate: Perry’s law allowed people to abstain from the vaccine by filing a conscientious objection — much like one would to avoid conscription. The law was eventually nullified by the Texas legislature, and Perry has since admitted it was a mistake.)

Of course, being “forced” by the government to do anything is anathema to Tea Party conservatives, and Perry’s defense was lackluster at best. Score one for the Bachmann team.

After the debate, Bachmann claimed that woman approached her to commend her views on the vaccine, adding that her daughter has developed “mental retardation” as a result of receiving it.

Candidates likely hear a lot of stories on the campaign trail. Most of the time, they would look into the details before referencing it in later appearances. But our intrepid candidate didn’t bother to look into the facts. There was a news cycle to be claimed!

Oh, I just love seeing GOPers bashing each other.  Ed Morrissey of HotAir said Bachmann was duped. Even Rush Limbaugh said she was mistaken.

CDC studies further contradicts Bachmann’s assertion, saying that “HPV vaccines were safe and cause no serious side effects. The most common adverse event was injection site pain, redness and swelling,” and that no direct correlation to “adverse effects” — much less mental disabilities — can be proven.

But the pesky facts sure can mess up a good narrative.

Fading Michele Bachmann looks to ‘tea party’ debate for boost

Monica Almeida, The New York Times

Cue the world’s smallest violin…

Is Monday night’s Republican presidential debate a make-or-break moment for Michele Bachmann?

It might sound a bit ridiculous to talk in such terms while almost five months away from the first time Republican voters cast ballots in Iowa, but there is a sense that the Minnesota congresswoman’s presidential bid is rapidly losing steam.

So the good congresswoman is having difficulty breaking through the Romney/Perry barricade. Her campaign manager bolted over the weekend, leaving the ship without a rudder. She was mostly irrelevant in last week’s Reagan Library debate. Now, she seeks to avoid further obscurity (aka the Pawlenty Syndrome) by bolstering her Tea Party bona fides in tonight’s CNN/Tea Party debate.

Bachmann may be the “Queen” of the Tea Party, but that matters little to the Washington media. Conflict is gold, and the Perry/Romney spat is fit for mining.

Of course, being Queen of the Tea Party means even less to most Americans. Being the most recognizable face for an unreasonable, intransigent group rarely yields positive results.

Never fear, Bachmann fanatics. I am here to provide all the Bachmann coverage you could ask for. Even as she fades back into tea-induced oblivion.

Here’s a recent one from Bachmann’s list of “ridiculous promises.”

Perhaps Bachmann believes that the President can wave his/her hand and magically resolve all the country’s economic problems. That’s the only rationale I can determine from her incredulous statements.

I shouldn’t have to tell you that the price of gasoline is primarily determined by the global oil market, which fluctuates wildly based on numerous factors. Nor should I have to tell you that while gasoline prices were below $2 when President Obama took office, they averaged over $4 six months prior, in July 2008.

And I certainly shouldn’t have to tell you that “drill baby, drill” is nothing more than a catchy campaign slogan.

But, if you’re reading this blog, I imagine you’re among the proud few who cling to Bachmann as the savior for this country. Go forth then, brave conservative warriors. We’ll just take care of things at home.

Hurricane Irene a “sign from God?”

We get it, Rep. Bachmann. You don’t like government spending. You want to rein it in.

Fine. But I sincerely doubt that a natural storm is the Almighty’s sign that we’re spending too much.

Why does the Religious Right think they know why God does things? From my studies of the Bible, humans cannot even begin to comprehend God’s plan. I would imagine that an omniscient deity would pretty much make the rules Himself.

Hurricane Irene isn’t a sign that God’s angry about government spending. Or homosexuality, for that matter.

Bachmann later said that her statement was a joke. Nobody’s laughing — since the storm claimed 54 lives.

Nice try, congresswoman.


Bachmann Comic

A page from False Witness, the Michele Bachmann Comic

Visitors to Twin Cities News Talk may remember me from a few months ago. I was the thorn in their side, constantly prodding at their cherished positions.

Well, I’m back with a new venture: The Bachmann Chronicles. A humble little blog dedicated to exposing Rep. Michele Bachmann as the lunatic we all know her to be.

Well, at least anyone who doesn’t exist on the far right edge of American politics.

I understand that I’m not alone in this mission. Rep. Bachmann has offered plenty of material for others to collect and ridicule. But I hope to bring these incidents to an audience that seems to think she’s a competent politician.

Heh. What a silly thought.